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I already tweeted about this, but I feel the need to mark it here as well.
I had a conversation with my mother over tea this morning, as I often do. We were talking about a friend of my parents who works for the local DA's office. Then she mentioned that the DA's office had been involved with a family where my parents sort-of know the father. He's been around the house a few times and done work here (he's in the trades).
It turns out that after he and his wife got a divorce, she started dating a local woman. And then he tried to kill them. He ran them off the road and threatened to kill them, etc.
And then - my mother basically defended his right to do this. Oh, she'd left their kids at her home when she'd been out on a date with her girlfriend. (Their oldest boy is either preteens or early teens.) Oh, he'd just snapped. Oh, he's from the old country and doesn't hold with divorce. Oh, she'd left him for a woman.
The shit icing on the crap cake? He just got community service. That's it.
(He also lost custody of the kids and I got the impression he's not allowed contact with them. My mother sees this as a great injustice. I see the fact that he attempted murder and only got community service and lost custody of his kids to be the injustice. And I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up, knowing your father tried to kill your mother, just because she dared to express, publicly, love for a woman.)
I am leaving this unlocked because I think this is the kind of thing that everyone needs to read.
I had a conversation with my mother over tea this morning, as I often do. We were talking about a friend of my parents who works for the local DA's office. Then she mentioned that the DA's office had been involved with a family where my parents sort-of know the father. He's been around the house a few times and done work here (he's in the trades).
It turns out that after he and his wife got a divorce, she started dating a local woman. And then he tried to kill them. He ran them off the road and threatened to kill them, etc.
And then - my mother basically defended his right to do this. Oh, she'd left their kids at her home when she'd been out on a date with her girlfriend. (Their oldest boy is either preteens or early teens.) Oh, he'd just snapped. Oh, he's from the old country and doesn't hold with divorce. Oh, she'd left him for a woman.
The shit icing on the crap cake? He just got community service. That's it.
(He also lost custody of the kids and I got the impression he's not allowed contact with them. My mother sees this as a great injustice. I see the fact that he attempted murder and only got community service and lost custody of his kids to be the injustice. And I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up, knowing your father tried to kill your mother, just because she dared to express, publicly, love for a woman.)
I am leaving this unlocked because I think this is the kind of thing that everyone needs to read.
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From:
no subject
At this point - how do I go to my mother and say, "Hey, mom, I don't really consider gender when I choose who to date. And I might be a little gnederqueer. I guess people can just shoot me on the street now, right?"
From:
no subject
Who knows, maybe you coming out is what your mom needs to humanize people of different sexualities. That could be her horizon-widening moment. Though I don't know your family so that might not be the best advice; I don't want to encourage you to do something you're uncomfortable with or that could get you ostracized.