Fannish vs. Original: My Writing Thoughts

[chasingtides]

I have been doing a lot of fannish writing since finals ended, about fifteen thousand words of it, give or take a bit. That's quite a lot for me, especially as I haven't been writing every day.

I kind of feel bad that I'm not writing my original stuff - or I feel like I should feel bad that I'm not writing my original stuff. I have plenty of in-process original ideas and some waiting around in the wings. I've got zombies and werewolves and a whole steam powered Mongolian empire.

Somehow, though, I feel like my fannish work is more fulfilling. People actually read it for one. I periodically post my original stuff to my writing journal (journeybysea) when I feel proud of it, but as far as I can tell, no one ever bothers to read that. And certainly no one wants to publish it. It languishes.

And writing, as much as I do it because it brings me joy and fulfills me, is about communication. I am expressing myself and my ideas and interacting with my world in words. If I'm interacting with a void, speaking but not hearing, writing but not reading, I am having only half of a conversation and I have never been one to talk to myself when I can talk to others. Even when I was an angst-ridden teenager, I was never big on private journaling - my private thoughts just spiral in on each other until they are incomprehensible - and that is much how my original works are feeling at the moment.

I had hoped to find fellow writers, ones I could interact with on perhaps a monthly basis, but the groups around me explicitly say that they have no desire to welcome science fiction and fantasy writers. While I don't write hard sci-fi/fantasy, I am sure that my zeppelin riding Mongolians and post-apocalyptic zombie cities wouldn't be welcome in these circles. And that's fine - I probably wouldn't be happy workshopping Harlequin-style romance.

But it leaves me a little high and dry with my original writing activities. I could do it. I do do it. But it often ends up feeling like a dead end activity. Communication is a two way street and, at least for the moment, my original writings feel like a one-way dead end. (In addition to these problems, I ask myself, how can I improve as a writer if I am the only one who can give myself feedback? This is a recipe for disaster.)

Fannish writings, on the other hand, particularly if I am participating in a contest or an exchange or even, as I ponder signing up for spn_j2_bigbang, a time lined project with a pre-existing support system, I have a community. They will, I hope, tell me when my writing is lousy. I know they let me know when my writing is good. I am currently floating on writer's cloud nine after seeing the reception of my holiday exchange pieces. (I like making people happy. This is a flaw of mine - I knit for people, I cook for people, I write for people, and often the biggest reward I can get is someone saying, "Wow. Thank you for taking the time and energy. This made me happy.")

I was going to put this under my "writing thoughts" filter, but then I thought better of it. I'm interested in seeing what people have to say about this, whether you are involved in fannish writings yourself or not, whether you write or not.

Comments

[larienelengasse.livejournal.com]

Here's my two cents. Writing is different for everyone. There are some people who need to be left alone while they work it out, there are others who need feedback and or critique. My personal belief is that unless you already know who you are as a writer, in other words, your writer persona is fully developed and it's just a matter of expression and output, writing is a community activity that is vital to helping you grow and learn who that person is. Even then, the community can help you keep growing, because, let's face it, we never do stop. Writing is, at its heart, communication, and you can't, as you've said, communicate in a vacuum. Maybe I feel this way because it's how I've been indoctrinated to feel based on my training to teach writing, but I don't think so. Feedback and critique are not the same thing. Feedback is generous and kind and meant to express gratitude for sharing your work. Critique is meant to help you do what you do better, plain and simple. You are looking for an exchange, a back and forth communication that is more akin to critique, where you can learn and teach both. That's what a writing community is, at its best. If I thought that I could at all honor a commitment throughout the year to be a sounding board, I'd offer, but I know that once the term starts and I start teaching again, I will be hit and miss. Of course, if you want to, you can always virtually knock on my door and ask me to read something and talk with you about it.