It sounds like your main problem is that you're trying to deal with the thesis right now and you need writing to be more of a "break" than a task, which is totally understandable. If you're not in a place where your original stuff feels like a break in and of itself (and research-heavy stuff never does, so I feel you there), then of course you'd gravitate to fandom, where everyone's playing by the same rules and has the same background knowledge... fandom's a quicker and easier escape, and it comes with a built in reader base, and I think those reasons pretty much comprise why most people write fanfic (myself included).
Re: writing as communication - sure, that's the ultimate goal. We all want to share our shiny cool world and it's shiny cool characters. But I'll say to you what I've said to samidha, just as food for thought: If your focus is "someday I will share/publish this piece, and that is my end goal, because without readers there is NO POINT OMG," chances are very good that said piece will never get finished. There's a lot of rejection and a lot of radio silence in the original fic world, as you know, and if your *goal* is "I want to have readers and know they're reading"... you'll always be frustrated, particularly with something that involves world-building and research and continuity that takes ages to put together. It's too much work for a "maybe," and everything is a maybe when it comes to original fic, whether you want it in the form of a published piece or a commented-on post. Your first reason has to be "I enjoy it." Your second reason can be "and I want others to enjoy it," but if the first isn't "*I* am enjoying this," you won't be writing at your best, and you won't have fun with the process, and if both those things are true, you won't want to stick with it (and who would, if it feels like just another assignment?).
I don't claim to be the best writer in the world, and I know my current original stuff would need heavy editing to make it publishable. (I've been published many times, so I, as a writer, am publishable, but my current stuff - even with edits, there's just not a market for it.) But knowing that *if* it's ever published, it would have to be self-published, and that when I post it, I'll be lucky to get three comments, doesn't make me one bit less motivated to write, because I adore my characters so much (and they won't shut up. And they gang up on me). That doesn't mean I'm a great writer, but it does spring from the fact that I'm not trying to write a thesis, I'm not in school, and my real life blows so my fictional world is a helluva lot more fun. What I'm getting at, I think, is that if writing isn't *fun*, look at the reasons - I think you've nailed it with the thesis/school thing, personally. If, when you're *not* stressing over those things, writing still isn't fun unless your end goal is sharing it, it's not that you can't write original fic... but it will feel like a slog more often than not, and fanfic will always be more appealing.
While it's nice to get feedback - and I adore making people happy - I usually rely on the betas for the feedback of "You're doing this right and this wrong."
Betas are great - I've got 3 or 4 in my pocket, too. They still miss things, though, and a comment can be useful without dealing with grammar or typos. Sometimes the biggest problems - the "you totally lost me here, I don't follow" ones, are found by someone who's not a regular beta, because the betas already know where you're coming from. Also, a comment can be useful without being negative... regarding my original fic, I'd rather have one "I really liked X because of Y," than 5 "OMG ILU"s.
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Date: 2009-01-04 09:48 pm (UTC)Re: writing as communication - sure, that's the ultimate goal. We all want to share our shiny cool world and it's shiny cool characters. But I'll say to you what I've said to samidha, just as food for thought: If your focus is "someday I will share/publish this piece, and that is my end goal, because without readers there is NO POINT OMG," chances are very good that said piece will never get finished. There's a lot of rejection and a lot of radio silence in the original fic world, as you know, and if your *goal* is "I want to have readers and know they're reading"... you'll always be frustrated, particularly with something that involves world-building and research and continuity that takes ages to put together. It's too much work for a "maybe," and everything is a maybe when it comes to original fic, whether you want it in the form of a published piece or a commented-on post. Your first reason has to be "I enjoy it." Your second reason can be "and I want others to enjoy it," but if the first isn't "*I* am enjoying this," you won't be writing at your best, and you won't have fun with the process, and if both those things are true, you won't want to stick with it (and who would, if it feels like just another assignment?).
I don't claim to be the best writer in the world, and I know my current original stuff would need heavy editing to make it publishable. (I've been published many times, so I, as a writer, am publishable, but my current stuff - even with edits, there's just not a market for it.) But knowing that *if* it's ever published, it would have to be self-published, and that when I post it, I'll be lucky to get three comments, doesn't make me one bit less motivated to write, because I adore my characters so much (and they won't shut up. And they gang up on me). That doesn't mean I'm a great writer, but it does spring from the fact that I'm not trying to write a thesis, I'm not in school, and my real life blows so my fictional world is a helluva lot more fun. What I'm getting at, I think, is that if writing isn't *fun*, look at the reasons - I think you've nailed it with the thesis/school thing, personally. If, when you're *not* stressing over those things, writing still isn't fun unless your end goal is sharing it, it's not that you can't write original fic... but it will feel like a slog more often than not, and fanfic will always be more appealing.
While it's nice to get feedback - and I adore making people happy - I usually rely on the betas for the feedback of "You're doing this right and this wrong."
Betas are great - I've got 3 or 4 in my pocket, too. They still miss things, though, and a comment can be useful without dealing with grammar or typos. Sometimes the biggest problems - the "you totally lost me here, I don't follow" ones, are found by someone who's not a regular beta, because the betas already know where you're coming from. Also, a comment can be useful without being negative... regarding my original fic, I'd rather have one "I really liked X because of Y," than 5 "OMG ILU"s.