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Go to your icons page in Livejournal and look at the first two icons (the one on the right and the one on the left). Pair up the characters in the two icons. Go to the next two and do the same until you have a list of ships. Then...well, write 'em.
Soldier/Nurse/Oxford Comma - Even soldiers returning from war understand the importance of properly used punctuation. After surprising the nurse with the public kiss, he bonded with her over coffee and Swedish pastry as they shared their love of English grammar. They went on to have several children, all of whom wrote with perfect grammar and their children's children became the grammar Nazis of the Internet.
Car/Masked Venetian - I am having terrible ideas of a Mafia hit man disguised as a clown driving an antique car. He looks innocent until he kills you. (This doesn't really work since I think the icon is from Venetian Carnival, but whatever. Maybe the masked Venetian only kills you on Shrove Tuesday?)
Benito was on the run and had escaped through time and a steamship to 1930's America. He was on the look out for Bonnie and Clyde, but figured that if he just hung around Lake Eerie, it shouldn't be much of a problem. He'd picked up a used car by the Canadian border, but hadn't stuck around long when all of the WASPs started giving him dirty looks for his crucifix and grating Italian accent. He slowly made his way westward along the lake, keeping an eye out for anyone who might have also found the time machine in the old abbey. Luckily, no one appeared to have followed him. However, whenever he found people who weren't properly celebrating the holy days of obligation, he beheaded them with the ax he kept in the trunk for just that purpose.
Pocket watch/Bert/Ernie - Undying love. If Bert and Ernie were queer for each other (like they are in the icon), I think theirs would be one of those epic, undying loves where they grow old together and then die three months apart. And that's totally what that icon pairing is all about.
Book of Hours Owl/Jo Harvelle- Jo's just catching up on her Latin prayers with her fancy Book of Hours that her dad gave her before he died.
Azazel/Dean Winchester - I'd really rather not, since I think that first icon is Azazel possessing Dean's father. Um. Maybe in Hell?
Dean was being tortured by many demons in Hell and was screaming a lot because, hello, meat hook in his shoulder. The priests had totally lied to him. They said that he would burn in Hell for lying and cheating and committing adultery and violating virgins and stealing and dishonoring his father and blaspheming and not honoring God and not keeping the Sabbath holy and for killing people and for killing people (who really, were just things) and for trying to evade federal agents and for generally being Dean Winchester. What bullshit. There were no flames here. If it weren't for the really painful meat hook in his shoulder and the utter lack of Sam, Hell would be a pretty boring (and pretty green) place.
A variety of black and red demons had been wandering by to point and laugh at him (which just wasn't fair, it wasn't like he asked for the meat hook in his shoulder), but they all scattered when the bright yellow demon showed up. He immediately walked up to Dean shoulder (the one with the meat hook).
"Didn't I kill you?" Dean asked, trying to twist to see the demon, but only succeeding in tearing his shoulder muscles.
The demon frowned. "You just sent me back here. Now do you want help with this hook or not?" The demon didn't wait for an answer and wrenched Dean off of the meat hook. Dean was able to wriggle out of the ropes and wires.
"Shouldn't you be, I don't know, upset that I sent you back to Hell?" Dean asked.
The demon shrugged. "I finally broke down and got cable. It's not so bad and your dad isn't here to yell at me anymore. Besides I get 1200 channels plus On Demand movies and automatic viewing of your brother and my demonic enemies. It's easier just to stay here."
"Sweet. Can I crash with you until my brother comes up with an imbecilic plan to rescue me?"
Girls in a field/Jack Sparrow - Oh dear.
"Nooooo!!" cried Jack Sparrow as he chased the little girls through the blooming fields of flowers. "Don't run!"
The evil little girls cackled maniacally, their cries echoing over the fields and through the dark forest behind them. "You'll never catch us!" shouted the little girl in the miniature cowboy hat.
Jack could hear his crew behind him, yelling that it was a lot cause, that these little girls were made of pure evil and had been birthed wholesale out of the dark forest eons ago, but Jack couldn't let them steal his rum.
Kaywinnit Lee Frye/Saving Things, Hunting People - Sam had embraced his evil, demonic powers ages ago (five centuries ago to be exact) and had outlived everything he had ever known or loved. Around the year 2356, he had given up on hunting the supernatural and had begun to make a living as a bounty hunter (although the people he was sent to collect rarely lived long enough for him to collect on them). He also collected anything that happened to amuse him, including, periodically, people (if they lived long enough).
He was standing in one of the shipyards of Persephone, blood still fresh on his hands, when he saw something he wanted: an old fashioned Firefly ship. He'd flown in one when they were new and sometimes, when he was in a sentimental mood, he thought that Dean might have liked the pretty lights of the Firefly engine, if he'd ever lived long enough to see one. He strolled onto the ship, completely ignoring the hired muscle and the gaping crew. "I want this one," he declared, gazing around at it, "and I will call it Metalliship."
"You can't just barge in here and call our home yours," a pretty grease-covered woman told him sternly.
"Metalliship," Sam said again, his eyes flaring yellow.
Bobby/Sam in a wheelchair - "You've got to be kidding me," Bobby said flatly.
Sam grinned at him from his wheelchair. "Nope! We seem to have fallen through a dimensional portal where you're my husband and I'm a paraplegic from a hunting accident. We run a bed and breakfast and hunters' library together."
Bird/Sparkle Highway - The bird fell off its tree branch and became road kill on the highway.
Golden Mask/Samuel Campbell - After making out with his daughter, the yellow eyed demon, possessing Samuel Campbell's body, became a drag queen in New Orleans until the time came to seek out the psychic children when they came of age.
Castiel/Jesus Loves You/Slytherins for Obama - "So, angels are real?" Sam asked, gripping his gun tightly in his hands.
"As real as the demons you associate yourself with," Castiel told him, his wide eyes unblinking as his leaned into Sam's personal space.
Sam caught sight of Dean's smug grin over Castiel's shoulder, but decided to ignore him. "And you saved my brother? You pulled him out of Hell?"
"I raised him from perdition," Castiel allowed.
Sam nodded and frowned grimly. "I - I couldn't save him."
"He needed to be saved, not further tainted," Castiel explained, his angelic voice deep and echoing in the hotel room. "You know you can be saved as well, Sam Winchester."
Sam stared at the angel, unnerved by his lack of sense of personal space. His eyes began to water in sympathy for Castiel's.
"Jesus loves you."
"I, uh, doesn't Jesus love everyone?" Sam asked, a little confused. "I mean, he's Jesus. Everyone loves Jesus."
"Even you, with your demonic associations such as they are, can still be saved," Castiel continued, completely ignoring Sam.
"How?"
"Vote for Obama."
Impala/Road/Zoe/Gun - Zoe looked around warily, holding her gun in front of her. The Reavers might all be dead, but she sure as hell didn't know where she was (or where the ship and crew were). It was best to keep her wits about her. As she gazed around the lonely road, a - a car - an antique automobile! - whipped past her, going at about 90 mph and blaring that ancient music that Grandpa sometimes used to put on during the holidays, rock and roll.
Brunette Pin-Up/Tree - I think the brunette is just taking a well deserved nap under the tree.
Soldier/Nurse/Oxford Comma - Even soldiers returning from war understand the importance of properly used punctuation. After surprising the nurse with the public kiss, he bonded with her over coffee and Swedish pastry as they shared their love of English grammar. They went on to have several children, all of whom wrote with perfect grammar and their children's children became the grammar Nazis of the Internet.
Car/Masked Venetian - I am having terrible ideas of a Mafia hit man disguised as a clown driving an antique car. He looks innocent until he kills you. (This doesn't really work since I think the icon is from Venetian Carnival, but whatever. Maybe the masked Venetian only kills you on Shrove Tuesday?)
Benito was on the run and had escaped through time and a steamship to 1930's America. He was on the look out for Bonnie and Clyde, but figured that if he just hung around Lake Eerie, it shouldn't be much of a problem. He'd picked up a used car by the Canadian border, but hadn't stuck around long when all of the WASPs started giving him dirty looks for his crucifix and grating Italian accent. He slowly made his way westward along the lake, keeping an eye out for anyone who might have also found the time machine in the old abbey. Luckily, no one appeared to have followed him. However, whenever he found people who weren't properly celebrating the holy days of obligation, he beheaded them with the ax he kept in the trunk for just that purpose.
Pocket watch/Bert/Ernie - Undying love. If Bert and Ernie were queer for each other (like they are in the icon), I think theirs would be one of those epic, undying loves where they grow old together and then die three months apart. And that's totally what that icon pairing is all about.
Book of Hours Owl/Jo Harvelle- Jo's just catching up on her Latin prayers with her fancy Book of Hours that her dad gave her before he died.
Azazel/Dean Winchester - I'd really rather not, since I think that first icon is Azazel possessing Dean's father. Um. Maybe in Hell?
Dean was being tortured by many demons in Hell and was screaming a lot because, hello, meat hook in his shoulder. The priests had totally lied to him. They said that he would burn in Hell for lying and cheating and committing adultery and violating virgins and stealing and dishonoring his father and blaspheming and not honoring God and not keeping the Sabbath holy and for killing people and for killing people (who really, were just things) and for trying to evade federal agents and for generally being Dean Winchester. What bullshit. There were no flames here. If it weren't for the really painful meat hook in his shoulder and the utter lack of Sam, Hell would be a pretty boring (and pretty green) place.
A variety of black and red demons had been wandering by to point and laugh at him (which just wasn't fair, it wasn't like he asked for the meat hook in his shoulder), but they all scattered when the bright yellow demon showed up. He immediately walked up to Dean shoulder (the one with the meat hook).
"Didn't I kill you?" Dean asked, trying to twist to see the demon, but only succeeding in tearing his shoulder muscles.
The demon frowned. "You just sent me back here. Now do you want help with this hook or not?" The demon didn't wait for an answer and wrenched Dean off of the meat hook. Dean was able to wriggle out of the ropes and wires.
"Shouldn't you be, I don't know, upset that I sent you back to Hell?" Dean asked.
The demon shrugged. "I finally broke down and got cable. It's not so bad and your dad isn't here to yell at me anymore. Besides I get 1200 channels plus On Demand movies and automatic viewing of your brother and my demonic enemies. It's easier just to stay here."
"Sweet. Can I crash with you until my brother comes up with an imbecilic plan to rescue me?"
Girls in a field/Jack Sparrow - Oh dear.
"Nooooo!!" cried Jack Sparrow as he chased the little girls through the blooming fields of flowers. "Don't run!"
The evil little girls cackled maniacally, their cries echoing over the fields and through the dark forest behind them. "You'll never catch us!" shouted the little girl in the miniature cowboy hat.
Jack could hear his crew behind him, yelling that it was a lot cause, that these little girls were made of pure evil and had been birthed wholesale out of the dark forest eons ago, but Jack couldn't let them steal his rum.
Kaywinnit Lee Frye/Saving Things, Hunting People - Sam had embraced his evil, demonic powers ages ago (five centuries ago to be exact) and had outlived everything he had ever known or loved. Around the year 2356, he had given up on hunting the supernatural and had begun to make a living as a bounty hunter (although the people he was sent to collect rarely lived long enough for him to collect on them). He also collected anything that happened to amuse him, including, periodically, people (if they lived long enough).
He was standing in one of the shipyards of Persephone, blood still fresh on his hands, when he saw something he wanted: an old fashioned Firefly ship. He'd flown in one when they were new and sometimes, when he was in a sentimental mood, he thought that Dean might have liked the pretty lights of the Firefly engine, if he'd ever lived long enough to see one. He strolled onto the ship, completely ignoring the hired muscle and the gaping crew. "I want this one," he declared, gazing around at it, "and I will call it Metalliship."
"You can't just barge in here and call our home yours," a pretty grease-covered woman told him sternly.
"Metalliship," Sam said again, his eyes flaring yellow.
Bobby/Sam in a wheelchair - "You've got to be kidding me," Bobby said flatly.
Sam grinned at him from his wheelchair. "Nope! We seem to have fallen through a dimensional portal where you're my husband and I'm a paraplegic from a hunting accident. We run a bed and breakfast and hunters' library together."
Bird/Sparkle Highway - The bird fell off its tree branch and became road kill on the highway.
Golden Mask/Samuel Campbell - After making out with his daughter, the yellow eyed demon, possessing Samuel Campbell's body, became a drag queen in New Orleans until the time came to seek out the psychic children when they came of age.
Castiel/Jesus Loves You/Slytherins for Obama - "So, angels are real?" Sam asked, gripping his gun tightly in his hands.
"As real as the demons you associate yourself with," Castiel told him, his wide eyes unblinking as his leaned into Sam's personal space.
Sam caught sight of Dean's smug grin over Castiel's shoulder, but decided to ignore him. "And you saved my brother? You pulled him out of Hell?"
"I raised him from perdition," Castiel allowed.
Sam nodded and frowned grimly. "I - I couldn't save him."
"He needed to be saved, not further tainted," Castiel explained, his angelic voice deep and echoing in the hotel room. "You know you can be saved as well, Sam Winchester."
Sam stared at the angel, unnerved by his lack of sense of personal space. His eyes began to water in sympathy for Castiel's.
"Jesus loves you."
"I, uh, doesn't Jesus love everyone?" Sam asked, a little confused. "I mean, he's Jesus. Everyone loves Jesus."
"Even you, with your demonic associations such as they are, can still be saved," Castiel continued, completely ignoring Sam.
"How?"
"Vote for Obama."
Impala/Road/Zoe/Gun - Zoe looked around warily, holding her gun in front of her. The Reavers might all be dead, but she sure as hell didn't know where she was (or where the ship and crew were). It was best to keep her wits about her. As she gazed around the lonely road, a - a car - an antique automobile! - whipped past her, going at about 90 mph and blaring that ancient music that Grandpa sometimes used to put on during the holidays, rock and roll.
Brunette Pin-Up/Tree - I think the brunette is just taking a well deserved nap under the tree.
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