What's With This Sex Thing?

[chasingtides]

I don't want to discuss the latest SPN ep here, so please don't. I'm turn my mind to other things.

What I would like to discuss is sex.

It's something I've liked about Supernatural. It's been, generally, pretty low on the on-screen sex. And that makes me pretty happy.

Yes, I know that Dean was having sex over the past couple seasons. But the last memorable actual sex scene that I remember is Sam/Madison from Heart (2.17). We've known that Dean's been having sex, but we haven't been given the visuals and it has not been part of the plot.

I really liked that.

I am like it when the story isn't about sex and romance. My life isn't about sex and romance. My life isn't about hunting demons, either, but I have a lot of trouble relating to stories where the entire focus is sex and romance. Hell, in high school I didn't get it and I still don't get it today.

I know I've got a low sex drive, that's no secret. I don't expect every character to be asexual or have a low sex drive (although, powers that be, it'd be AWESOME to see that), but I would be bothered to meet people in real life whose entire lives were based on sex and romance. People have families and friends and hobbies and careers. Let's see that.

I'm not saying I hate shows (or books) that have a lot of sex. I love Torchwood, for example. And I adore Captain Jack Harkness. However, even Captain Jack, my favorite onscreen slut, has aspirations outside of getting into people's pants.

I hate going to the bookstore and seeing books, especially those marketed at women in my demographic, based solely on romance. I get bored when I turn on the TV and find endless romance. Romance movies don't really do it for me.

Perhaps someone could explain this appeal to me?

Comments

[estarmuerta.livejournal.com]

I too find blatant sex in shows and movies dumb and would rather do without it but I have a ridiculously high sex drive for never actually having sex. So, in other words, I see where you're coming from and understand but can't relate? LOL USELESS COMMENT IS USELESS.

[chasingtides.livejournal.com]

Um. I like sex. Especially when I have a long term partner. I'm just... Gah. It's a lot lower than most people I know.

I always feel awkward watching the sex on screen and I don't really know why.

[estarmuerta.livejournal.com]

See, I'm a wham bam thank you sir kind of girl. As long as they don't have the herp! NOW IF I CAN ONLY FIND SOMEONE THAT'LL GET INSIDE ME. D:

Me too. I was like EEEEEE DDDD: during the whole scene. People are like OMG THAT WAS SO HOT while I watched the top right corner of the screen through my fingers.

[chasingtides.livejournal.com]

I'm more like, "Oh, you're interested in sex? Oh, I think that might be fun. Let me put down my knitting." I give people complexes.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

...People are boring?

The reason romance does so well is because it's escapist, and there's a lot about the bored housewife dynamic that plays into it. Of course, this is for novels. I think it's because romance is the most readily accessible fantasy for women, as opposed to being a hero or having a successful career (it's also more entertaining than most of women's fantasies, since we're largely barred from heroism and so on, though it's changing).

I'm forgetting the anthropologist who did research on romance novel audiences (there's a couple of her books in Canaday), but you might want to look up Loving with a Vengeance in the library. If I recall correctly, it covers the topic of why women go for romance and why we're so geared toward it as opposed to having it tacked onto our primary fantasies (ala male mass-produced fantasies).

[senor-coconut-1.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I have a sex drive that compares to a 17 year old boy and I don't like watching sex scenes. Shows like Californication drive me CRAZY.

[larienelengasse.livejournal.com]

Here's my two cents, as probably stereotypical as it is... though I'm not a bored housewife!

I enjoy stories about relationships, about desire, about love... I don't read romance novels, because it's the kind of romance or sex that is sanitized. I like erotica, specifically homoerotica, due to my high, HIGH level of appreciation for the male form. Sex is a pretty integral part of a romantic relationship. It's certainly not THE most important thing, but it's important nonetheless. I end up writing a lot of fan fic that is about relationships - whether or not they are "romance" as commonly conceived, is another issue. It is about escapism, and I think some escapism is good - I appreciate it. If I wanted realism, I wouldn't be watching shows like SPN or Sarah Connor Chronicles or Fringe. That doesn't mean I don't like realism too - because I also watch shows like House MD.

I think the romance genre has really suffered because of the prevalence of formulaic romance that companies like Harlequin push. That's too bad. I've read some really good romance that was nothing like that at all.

Of course, this all boils down to reader preference, and that's as varied as individuals themselves.