Fear and Faith in the Winchester Brothers: Bringing Things Full Circle

[chasingtides]

So, Yellow Fever (4.06) is rather obviously about Dean's fears. Interestingly, Metamorphosis (4.04) seems, at the outset, to also be about Dean's fears. And Dean's fears seem to be pretty consistent.

In Metamorphosis, he encounters the fact that Sam has been using his psychic powers while Dean was in Hell. He becomes agitated enough to hit Sam and tell him, "If I didn't know you, I would hunt you." For the man who couldn't bring himself to hurt Sam when he killed another hunter and was attacking him (2.14 Born Under a Bad Sign), this must be a terrifying and heartbreaking experience. And then the monster of the week just undercut Dean's fears.

And I thought it ended there.

But Yellow Fever just had to prove that it didn't. When Dean has his fear-induced hallucinations, we get a better view. He starts off by reading a book about ghost sickness and hallucinates about what the book says, reading, "You're dying... Again. Loser. You gonna cry? Baby gonna cry?"

And then, after running away from the ankle biting dog, Dean hallucinates again:

Dean: "I'm going to die, Sammy."
Sam: "Yeah, you are. You're going back."
Dean: "Back?"
Sam: "Downstairs, Dean. Hell. It's about damn time, too. Truth is, you've been a really pain in my ass."
*cue yellow eyes and pitching Dean against the wall with his powers*
Dean: "No, you get out of my brother, you evil son of a bitch!"
Sam: "No one's possessing me, Dean. This is what I'm going to become. This is what I want to become. There's nothing you can do about it.

And even without the benefit of hallucinations, Dean freaks out outside of the factory, asking Sam, "Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, everyday? I mean, I drive too fast and listen to the same five albums over and over again and I sing along and I'm annoying and I know that. And you? You're gassy. You eat half a burrito and you get toxic. And you know what? You can forget it."

Well, that's... something. Dean, we've known for a while, has self esteem issues, but this kind of takes the cake. Dean is absolutely terrified of two things. The first thing of which he is terrified is the obvious one: Sam's powers. The yellow eyes and demonic aspects clearly indicate that he is afraid of Sam's psychic powers and their point of origin - Azazel, the yellow eyed demon. He is afraid of the same thing that his father told him to fear - that Sam's powers will make him go 'darkside.' Castiel only reinforced this fear at the end of In the Beginning (4.03). Hell, even Azazel asked Dean if he was sure that Sam came back right (2.22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part Two).

However, there's something a little more insidious going on here. Look closely at what Dean says. I'll even repeat it for you here. In Metamorphosis, he storms in their room and begins to pack his things, saying, "You don't need me. You and Ruby go fight demons." This is quickly followed by punching Sam in the jaw. In Yellow Fever, he says, "Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, everyday? I mean, I drive too fast and listen to the same five albums over and over again and I sing along and I'm annoying and I know that," and hallucinates Sam saying, "You're going back... Downstairs, Dean. Hell. It's about damn time, too. Truth is, you've been a really pain in my ass."

This is, of course, an echo of Dean in season one. In Scarecrow (1.11), we see Sam and Dean argue in the Impala, in a scene eerily reminisce of the one in Metamorphosis - just replace "demonic powers" with "dead girlfriend" and "angel" with "Dad" and you've got it. "You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want?" Dean accuses, "You don't care what anybody thinks." "... Well," Sam replies, "This selfish bastard is going to California." "I will leave your ass, you hear me?" Dean shouts as a threat, but it is Sam who walks away, telling Dean, "That's what I want you to do." (Ouch.) They then proceed to constantly call one another, but don't pick up. (Sam, of course, returns and Dean takes back everything he said and they kill the scarecrow.)

Then, in Shadows (1.16), Meg rips into Dean for treating Sam "like luggage" and "dragging him over God's green earth." Then, later, when they are alone, Dean asks, "Is there any truth to what's she's saying? Am I keeping you against your will, Sam?" Sam, of course, protests. When they realise they might be facing the yellow eyed demon, Sam says, "What if this whole thing was over tonight? Man, I'd sleep for a month. Go back to school. Just be a person again." "You want to go back to school?" Dean asks. "Yeah. Once we're done hunting the thing... Why, is there something wrong with that?" Sam protests. "Nah, no, good for you," Dean replies, "... I don't want you to leave the second this thing's over, Sam!" "Dude, what's your problem?" "Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place? ... You and me and Dad; I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again." And then Sam tells him, "I don't want them to be [the way they were before]. I'm not going to live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you're going to have to let me go my own way."

Dean's insecurities that Sam is going to leave him are not unfounded. Sam left him once already, to go to Stanford and try to have a normal life. Then, throughout season one, he threatened to go again. And in Shadows, he told Dean, not kindly, that he couldn't wait to book it. (I'm sorry. There's a reason I wasn't a fan during season one.) First it was college and then it was avoiding the itinerant life and now, now that Sam will never be normal or safe, it's the fear that Sam has progressed beyond even Dean's level of different and will abandon him for that. I have argued in the past that Dean and Sam are romantically involved and while I still hold that to be true, I also believe that Dean is afraid that he will have no one in his life if Sam leaves him. Sam is, really and truly, all that he's got. He's itinerant and, besides, legally dead and wanted by the law. Dean couldn't stop now even if he wanted to. He's backed himself into a corner. And as long as Sam's in that corner with him, that's okay. But if Sam leaves? Dean's flying solo. For the rest of his life. (Castiel's threat is also probably not helping Dean's emotional state.)

Now, both Metamorphosis and Yellow Fever also show us a side to Sam that, in my opinion, is being glossed over by most of the fandom. We've pretty much switched points of view since Lazarus Rising (4.01), with the previous three seasons (barring the time that Sam was dead) being Sam's point of view and season four beginning Dean's point of view. It's a little jarring. But, just as we could see some of Dean's thoughts and reactions in seasons one through three, so, too, can we see Sam's this season.

In Metamorphosis, we get Sam's age-old, "But you can't possibly understand me!" argument. I'm going to come out and say it. I don't care if you're saying you've got demon blood or your girlfriend just died or you just realised you're actually a parakeet in disguise, you will never, ever sound like anything but a whiny teenager when you complain that the other person can never, ever, ever understand what you're going through. It's true - we can never fully understand the perspective of another human being regardless of anything - but that does not make it a good argument. Sam also seems to be a little terrified of himself, "I can never rip it out or scrub it clean! I'm a whole new level of freak!" And yet, as far as we have been shown, he does as Dean asks and leaves his powers be.

And then, in Yellow Fever, when Dean's life is threatened and Dean is more fragile than we've ever seen him, Sam, in stark contrast to the compassion that he showed in Metamorphosis, will do anything - even commit brutal murder - to save Dean. At first Sam appears to be mildly amused (tempered by confusion) at Dean's new fragility, such as when Dean doesn't want them to walk down the sidewalk by the teenagers. However, as soon as Dean says, "Sammy, I'm not going make a left hand turn into oncoming traffic. I'm not suicidal," Sam freaks out a little. And goes into a protective mode. This protective mode is probably first notable when Sam says that he will try to move their hotel room. And then Sam doesn't ask questions or anything - he's in a full on protective mode. Dean can smash furniture, hallucinate, have panic attacks, go on rants, run away, and general be even harder to live with than in the beginning of season three and Sam just does everything he can to save Dean.

The death of Luther Garland comes of as one of the more gruesome deaths seen on Supernatural. It strikes me as more of a hate crime than anything else. (And oh, striking to the heart of me). Sam, who is the culturally aware one and the compassionate one, is the person who decides to reenact the hate crime, even though Bobby doesn't think it will work. Sam wraps the chain around the murdered man's neck so that he can be dragged behind the car.

This is not a mistake. This is not poor characterisation or bad writing or poorly thought out.

Once again, let us return to season one, this time for a closer look at Sam. In Faith (1.12), Dean gets himself electrocuted during a hunt and is informed, summarily, that he has permanently damaged his heart. "No, no, there's got to be something you can do," Sam tells the kindly doctor, "a treatment." He is informed that the hospital doesn't deal in miracles. Dean is beyond fragile in Faith; he is broken. And Sam cannot deal with it. Dean is prepared to face his own death in ways that Sam cannot bear. At the end of the episode, while Dean is conflicted that his life was traded for another man's, Sam has no questions. Dean's life for a strangers is no question at all - Dean comes first.

We see this over and over again - when Dean breaks, there is nothing on heaven or earth or in the depths of hell that will keep Sam Winchester from saving Dean (unless John Winchester gets there first). Whether we're looking at Faith or In My Time of Dying (2.01) or pretty much all of season three (from 3.01 The Magnificent Seven and 3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me to 3.11 Mystery Spot and 3.14 Long Distance Call.) In No Rest For The Wicked (3.16), Sam is willing to break one of the cardinal rules of hunting (don't trust a demon) if it means that he can save Dean. We learn in Lazarus Rising that he tried to make deals to save Dean.

Dean is normally the proud, cocky one. He's the one who wields the big guns and picks up the girls and sees the angels and kicks the ass. He followed John's orders and he's fired guns since he was six and he thumbs his nose at the law. He is powerful and in control. He exudes this normally.

Sam doesn't need to protect Dean. Dean protects Sam. This is the way of their world. Sam is the baby. Sam is the smart one. Sam is the special one. Dean is the one with guns. Dean is the one who works on cars. Dean is the one who is rough and dirty and doesn't read. Sam is smart and special and different.

Except when this isn't the way of the world.

It has been argued by some that Sam is a selfish bastard. (In season one, I'll agree with this.) It's been argued that he's the only normal one, while Dean is the selfish bastard.

I think that Sam feels that he can run away, that he can do wrong, as long as Dean is there watching and waiting for him. If and when Dean is gone, Sam will do anything and everything to get him back. Sam will run as long as he knows Dean's on the other end of the phone at the end of the day, waiting for him to come home. But when Dean stops answering? Sam hauls ass to find him. Sam will say he wants a normal life, but when he sees Dean's unmourned death at the end of that road, he forgets about normal with abandon. When Dean's life is in the balance, Sam is willing to risk everything, even his humanity, from season one to season three. Just as much as it can be said that Dean depends upon Sam, to the point of giving his life for Sam's, Sam is also equally dependent upon Dean. Dean just doesn't let him show it that often.

Comments

[almostinstinct.livejournal.com]

This is awesome, and I will come back to it when I can think straight. \o/

[moodswingers.livejournal.com]

This is very insightful and interesting. However you look at them, these boys just make my heart ache.

[yourlibrarian]

That's an interesting point about how, despite what Sam thinks of Luther's murder, he's willing to be the one to put the chain on. I think given the way it was edited, this example got undercut.

[chasingtides.livejournal.com]

Considering how he wanted to be compassionate to Jack in Metamorphosis, I think that we are supposed to see how Sam is willing to give all of that up because it means that Dean will live. (It also, in my mind, counterbalances Dean's fears that Sam wants him to go back to Hell. If Sam is willing to set aside all compassion to save him, when that compassion is a defining feature of Sam, then there's no way Sam could want Dean gone.)

[threecatmama.livejournal.com]

I think you have made your argument very well stated. I agree. Sam proves in many episodes that he will do anything for Dean. When pushed, he is more than the whiny bookish boy! Your meta relates several episodes in which he becomes protective very well.

[zazreil.livejournal.com]

Great meta - spot on. Still think the epi was uneven - but you did wonders linking the events to all three seasons. Kripke should hire you instead

Zaz

[erda-3.livejournal.com]

Very interesting. Just because Sam at times longs for a normal life, doesn't mean he isn't committed to the fight, or to Dean. I like to see a little yearning to escape at times, a little doubt about the life they have, because it makes them seem more like real people. It would be bizarre if they were never conflicted about what they do.

[static-pixie.livejournal.com]

This is not a mistake. This is not poor characterisation or bad writing or poorly thought out.
Definitely not. In my review I referenced it as a hate crime since it was one and the writers knew it and Sam just went with it without thought (also the chains around the neck represented Sam's other most vicious act in saving Dean to date, I think). I have not heard many of the fandom rumblings but was that this act was OOC one of them? I did hear people were so pissed about the idea of Dean's being a jerk Kripke apologized (WHAT? STFU Kripke, it's your story).

Like everyone's said, more later when I've had time to think. But great meta, btw.

[chasingtides.livejournal.com]

I've heard grumblings not about Yellow Fever in particular, but about season four in general. People have been complaining that Sam doesn't care about Dean, that he's totally different, etc. and that the show is turning into something all about Dean and not about Sam. I think it's been an abrupt point of view change (which really might have been done better), but that everything else has been consistent.

[gembat.livejournal.com]

The whole time I was reading this, I just kept nodding my head harder and harder. This is awesomely insightful, thanks for taking the time to write it!

[spuffy-girl.livejournal.com]

I saw a link to this, and just had to follow it.

I understand your points. I also think Sam is suffering from clinical depression and that's why he's acting the way he is.

The Sam-girls are complaining that Kripke apologized for Dean and bashing Dean, while the Dean-girls are bashing Sam. I'm tired of it.

I've also said several times that maybe Kripke hasn't apologized for Sam's behavior is the fact that they may address it in future episodes. Nobody seemed to have listened to me. They're all leaving comments on the sites where Kripke apologized, trying to call him out on Sam's behavior.

I just loved this and am really glad you wrote it.

[chasingtides.livejournal.com]

I think both Dean and Sam are, this season, dealing with emotional issues that were foreshadowed in season three. Sam probably has a whole lot of abandonment issues going that might not have been present previously (literally everyone in his life was gone) and his reaction to Dean packing his stuff in Metamorphosis and lack of compassion for Luther in Yellow Fever, in my opinion, highlight this. Dean's normal fears - fears of being left behind, of being alone, of being abandoned to the things that go bump in the night - have possibly been heightened by his time in Hell. The thing is, this is making them need each other more than ever, but, at the same time, desperately afraid that the other one doesn't need or want them.

It never occurred to me to call what Sam is going through clinical depression - what makes you think it is that?

[spuffy-girl.livejournal.com]

I looked up the symptoms and talked to someone on TWoP who has clinical depression. She agreed with me. Sam seems to have a lot of the symptoms of clinical depression.

I never even thought of abandonment issues, but Sam probably does have that too.

At this point, I'd be surprised if Sam wasn't suffering from clinical depression. He's been through a lot in five months. My post Metamorphosis fic is currently at the beta's. Sam claims that he's been feeling numb since Dean's death in my fic. (Plus he has a nightmare about Dean killing him.) Hopefully, it will be back from the beta soon.

[jameserin.livejournal.com]

i agree with this. i didn't understand how people thought it was out of character for sam to recreate luthor's(ack! i'm not sure how to spell his name since everyone spells it differently)death when dean's life was at stake. also, a lot of people are saying that sam is almost 'too uneffected' at the thought of losing dean again, but i don't think that is the case. look at metamorphosis(jack! if you hurt him... i swear to god!)and now in yellow fever, he is protective. i just took it as, he freaks out quietly but he knows that he can stop this one(unlike no rest for the wicked, at the end), that he and bobby will find something. i don't understand why people say that when i am pretty sure(and sam so much as said so himself)that he pretty much tore up the earth trying to get dean back... and in this case, if he has to recreate a horrible death to keep dean alive and not lose him again, then so be it. we've seen time and time again that these boys will go to any lengths for each other. dean's even called it out and said that it needs to stop, but when it comes down to it, do i think he wouldn't do it again(make a deal) if need be? no, he'd do it again in a heartbeat and so would sam.

sorry for all of the edits! XD

[mellow-tears.livejournal.com]

I couldn't agree with you more, especieally the last paragraph about Sam.

I will come back later with more coherent thoughts because right now all I can think of is how the boys, in reality, are really messed up and my heart hurts like bitch. Poor Dean and Sam.

[partaymon5.livejournal.com]

Very interesting meta indeed! I'd say that they are both selfish in their own ways, but then most humans are. Sam was taught to be selfish because his family protected him so much. As a child that is natural, but when the family doesn't really allow that child to grow, then they don't learn to change and tamper their will for that of others. Dean wasn't given that option after his mother died. He lost a lot of his innocence when John made him a soldier and responsible for his brother.

It is interesting that Dean is the cocky one with the guns, who chases the women and defends Sam - all very masculine things. But really, who is Sam's mother? Who is the one who fed him, looked after him, puts up with his selfishness with infinite patience. Dean who constantly calls Sam by feminine terms, sexual comments, but at the same time is so proud of Sam's intelligence. Dean is essentially Sam's mother, brother and best friend, all in one insecure package. Dean identifies himself by his family and how he serves them. Dean appeared (back in season one) to feel that Sam abandoned him (his family) when he went away to school. Was Dean suffering from empty nest syndrome?

Sam was like most kids (young teenagers) headstrong and determined to find his own way. He fought for his own identity and left his family to go to school, find normal make his own way. He didn't speak to his family for 2 - 4 years (depending on what timeline you chose to follow) and really didn't seem to miss them much, finding himself a girlfriend, whom he intended to marry and set up his own home. I wonder if he would have called Dean if that had happened and they would ever had got back together?

I think you are right in that Sam feels free to go his own way, as long as he has someone there to care for him. Now all he has is Dean and though he still struggles to be normal in some respects, I think Dean's life matters more than that.

Dean defines himself by his family, he never started a family with anyone else, and he did his utmost to find his father and keep his brother alive. He went and got Sam out of Stanford, hoping that he would stay with him, now that Sam'd had a taste of normal. I think Sam is defined by his 'freakishness' - first his lifestyle and then his demon blood. Sam most fears being seen as different, as a freak. When his brother sees him that way, it tears Sam apart and likely scares the hell out of him. He can take Dean's teasing and whatnot, but he can't take Dean fearing him and seeing him as different.

Dean is still trying to be big brother/mother (to a man who outsizes him, and likely out stubborns him!). I think Dean finds it very difficult to see Sam as anything but his little brother. He finds it difficult to treat Sam as an equal, and most of the time, Sam has been very easy with that, allowing Dean to take care of him and lead the way. Lately though, Sam has shown signs that he wants to be equal. He has spent time by himself, hunting and hurting, and he is finding that difficult to give up. He is much more willing to take charge when necessary, to be the one to start things and he has outright challenged Dean when he forbid Sam to find the immortal doctor: "...how are you going to stop me?".

I think Sam has finally matured a bit (and I think it is about time!) to realize that he has to look out for Dean sometimes. That Dean is not superman (or pardon me: Batman!) and he is vulnerable. I'm not sure that Dean is aware of this or if he will be willing to accept this. Right now both boys are freaked and not reacting normally. I found Sam to be very 'unemotional' toward Dean in Yellow Fever - markedly so, and so was Bobby. Now, I think that was the fault partly of the new writers, but I think there is also something else going on. I'm just not sure what exactly that is. I'd disagree that he decides not to use his powers because Dean asked - Dean asked before he went to hell and Sam used them: Sam himself said he was doing it for himself - making a decision to not go that way.

[dawnintheforest.livejournal.com]

Wow. This blew me away. So very very well thought out, and well written.

[vicdesty.livejournal.com]

It's great to see someone else who doesn't believe that Sam was not compassionate in Yellow Fever. I thought he was caring and very parental as illustrated each time he told Dean to stop picking at his arm. He also tried calming a frantic Dean the same way he did in Phantom Traveler. Obviously Sam has experience in dealing with Dean's emotions and needs.

And let's face it, Dean it not the type to be coddled. Sam has tried in the past(think Faith) and Dean won't have it. Therefore Sam tempers his reactions to suit Dean's needs. Take the scene in the hotel room, where Dean is sitting on the sofa, drinking a beer, and saying that having his head on the chopping block again is friggin delightful. That was a normal sounding Dean and Sam merely bumps his leg and tells him to stop scratching.

At the end, when Dean is having hallucinations, we see Sam being more demonstrative. Sam looks frantic and then relieved when he finds Dean safe in the hotel room after fleeing the Yorkie of Doom.

At no time during that episode, did I see an aggravated, unsympathetic Sam. Confused and at times maybe exasperated but definitely stepping up to the plate.

[labseraph.livejournal.com]

Man, you are making me like an episode that made me rather go *meh* when I first watched it. So far, I've tremendously enjoyed season 4 and I love how fast they're moving the mythology. But what you outlined here definitely clarified and made me accept a few elements in the episode that rather made me grit my teeth. Don't get me wrong, Dean screaming like a demented banshee at the cat was ROTF funny but certain things just got my goat.

Thank you for the illumination. It would definitely improve my enjoyment the next time I rewatch the episode.